We put a single question to 481 Midget Singles members: when you are dating as a little person, what matters most to you in a potential partner or in how that person approaches the relationship? Five options, one vote each.
The results are below, followed by some observations on what they tell us about dating priorities within this community.
Poll Results
481 total votes · Poll closed 12 May 2026
What the Results Tell Us
The top answer, chosen by more than a third of respondents, is about autonomy: that a partner does not treat them as someone who needs help or supervision by default. This came in well ahead of the other options, and it is worth thinking about what it means in practice.
People of short stature navigate a world that regularly underestimates them: shops with high shelves, venues with inadequate accessibility, and strangers who offer unsolicited assistance. In a dating context, this sometimes extends to partners who are inadvertently over-helpful, who assume limitations that do not exist, or who treat independence as something to be negotiated rather than assumed. The poll result suggests this is the thing most likely to affect whether a relationship feels genuinely equal.
Curiosity Over Category
The second-highest result, at 27%, reflects something different: not being reduced to a physical characteristic. "Genuinely curious about me as a person, not just my height" maps closely onto the concern about fetishising attention that comes up frequently in conversations within this community.
There is a meaningful difference between attraction to a person who happens to be short and attraction to the category of short people. The poll suggests that the ability to tell the difference, and to demonstrate through behaviour which side of that line you are on, matters to a substantial proportion of little people who date.
Taken together, the top two answers account for 61% of all votes. They both point at the same underlying concern: being treated as a full, capable, specific person rather than as a type.
Language as a Proxy for Effort
Eighteen per cent of respondents chose respectful language, used without prompting, as their top priority. This is notable because language is, in some ways, the easiest thing to get right. The fact that it appears as a priority at all suggests that for a meaningful proportion of little people who date, not having to do this education work themselves is itself something they value.
Read alongside our article on the words that matter in dating, this result reinforces that arriving with some awareness, rather than waiting to be briefed, signals a level of consideration that people in this community notice and value.
Being Comfortable in Public
Fourteen per cent ranked their partner being relaxed in public as the priority. This reflects a specific recurring experience: stares, comments, and unsolicited reactions from people outside the relationship, and the question of how a partner responds to these.
A partner who becomes visibly uncomfortable, or who treats public attention as an embarrassment to be managed, introduces an additional layer of stress into situations that already have an external element of difficulty. Being relaxed and unaffected matters here not because it is a small thing, but because its absence creates friction in ordinary social situations on a regular basis.
The Smallest Answer
Only 7% chose "shared values and compatibility, same as any other relationship" as their top priority. This is the option that frames height-related concerns as secondary to the ordinary criteria for any relationship.
One interpretation: for most people in this community, the height-specific considerations are not yet so well-handled that they can be treated as background. They remain salient because they are not reliably managed well by partners who have not thought about them.
Another interpretation: the other four options describe things that, once they are working well, simply become part of what good shared values and compatibility means. The question of what comes first is slightly circular.
What This Means for How You Date
If you are someone interested in dating a little person, the results suggest a clear priority order. Demonstrate respect for autonomy first, through behaviour rather than statement. Show genuine curiosity about the person rather than the characteristic. Arrive with basic language awareness. Be relaxed in public. The shared values piece follows naturally from all of these.
For little people dating on this platform, the poll results reflect something you probably already know. They may also be useful to point a new match to, as a more direct route to the conversation than having it from scratch every time.
For more on the practical side of all of this, see our articles on what to expect on a first date with a little person and building real connection when dating a dwarf woman.